In a recent trip back home I had the pleasure to talk with a friend who has been a person I have looked up to for many years. I have admired her strength and her resolve when things are tough in life. I knew from the moment I met her that she was a special person with a lot of wisdom. Like all of us she has been through her fair share of trials and struggles and at the release of my last book “L is for Loser, the battle through infertility” she asked me about it. I told her what it was about, but then told her that my reasoning behind it was bigger than infertility alone, although I do believe that is a worthy issue all on it’s own. I told her that my “big picture” purpose was really to speak to all people, and women in general. To convey that we are all amazing, and that although we are all in different places we all have something to offer even if it may look different than what we thought or what is expected from us as women. She then shared with me some of her precious wisdom through an analogy which just so happens to be my personal learning style, so I settled in to listen and learn. What followed is something I will always remember and hope to be able to pass it on to others who may feel worthless, or like a constant failure.
” Do you know how a pearl is made?” She asked me. I responded that I was not really sure. “Well,” she continued “A small piece of dirt (or foreign invader) gets inside an oyster shell, and in order to protect itself the oyster begins to coat the inside of itself with layer after layer of a thin film known as a pearl sac. This is like epithelial (or skin) cells. Over time a beautiful, unique pearl is formed.”
I loved that because it is so true that just like a diamond that is formed under pressure a pearl is formed out of something less than perfect and some may even say ugly but over time and with some work it becomes beautiful. We are like that. Our lives are not perfect. We all go through hard times, and feel broken, or like a failure; but over time and with some work we too become a beautiful pearl. I thought that was the end, but she went on; and this is my favorite part.
“Did you know that no two pearls are alike?” I shook my head. “Really? I said.
“No, each pearl is unique, making it rare, and even more beautiful. You could say that women are like these pearls. We have grit (dirt) that comes into our lives and over time we learn to mold that grit into something beautiful. We become a pearl. The wonderful thing about each pearl is that each one is unique yes; but when you put them together with others they make a beautiful necklace.” I sat there in awe of her ability to see this beautiful lesson in the midst of trials. I hope that I can someday get through my struggles with such grace and humility.
The moral of her story, No Grit, No Pearl is take the grit into your life and let God, in time, turn you into a beautiful pearl. Embrace your uniqueness. Stop wishing you were like her. You are like you and you are more than enough. You are beautiful.
I am so thankful for wise women in my life who have taught me to be better than I am. Tell the women in your life how much you love them.