It is amazing to me that it has been almost 20 years since we started down the dark path of infertility. I am even more amazed that although I have found my peace, I have “gotten over it” as the world would say, I have been blessed in so many ways, and I am happy, that those strong emotions can come back with such a vengeance. I would be lying if I said there have not been tears in the process of writing this book. I guess I can say that I put my blood, sweat and tears into this project. It’s funny when you think it’s over. This void never goes away. Infertility is a hard struggle, one unlike any other. We have a monthly reminder of our failures, and the world, our friends, and family, they don’t seem to understand why we are mourning a loss of something we have never had. Why it isn’t easy for us to “just adopt” or “pray harder,” or just stop stressing and it will happen.” And how do you explain something you yourself don’t even understand? I thought I was over it, but really I had just buried the emotions so deep that I just learned to live with it, like a nagging pebble in your shoe, or your sock slipping off your foot inside your shoe. The truth is that I have learned a lot from what I went through, I have decided to choose happiness everyday for myself and my family. I have come to know who I am and what I am capable of. I survived. The scars will fade, but they will always be there to remind me of why I do what I do, why I am who I am. My book coming out March 2018 “L is for loser” follows several women and their journey through infertility. I am deeply grateful for their willingness to be raw, and honest. I saw them break down and cry, get angry and even feel some guilt through their journey. I would invite anyone who has struggled with infertility or knows someone who has or is currently struggling, to check out this book. It is unlike any other infertility book out there. I know that no one can ever get you through this. Unfortunately you have to get through it on your own. You have to decide when you are ready to hand it over and move forward mending the wounds left from the fight, but this book will help you know that you are not alone, you are worth so much, and you have purpose in this life. You will feel a connection with these amazing women who have fought the good fight and won. They each realized their very own happy ending, and it was one they never did plan for.